Pausing to digest this information, he sits back on the bed and chuckles, though there's a distinct lack of humour in it.
"Ah... goodness. My return may have caused more problems than anything, then."
And although Hythlodaeus is not a jealous man, nor does he begrudge Hades the happiness he found in his husband's absence, he does feel a little... strange to know that he's unknowingly been inserted into this situation. No doubt Megumi and Hades were perfectly happy.
"I... apologise." For leaving? For coming back? He isn't really sure.
There's a pause, and then a frown, as Hades shakes his head.
"No, you have nothing to apologize for. I have said already that I do not blame you for having left."
How could he have, when he knows that Hythlodaeus had not chosen to leave? Still, there is a brief moment of pause before Hades speaks again. Though acknowledging what had occurred between himself and Megumi had been simple enough, he is still not well-practiced with speaking directly of his emotions, and this is important.
"I love you, with all I am and all I have. I could no more stop than I could halt the sun, and when you left you took with me some of my heart. Some of who I was, to the point I could not stand being as I am now, for grief and loss. That you have returned is a wonder I can scarce believe and a relief I have not the words for; an aching loss finally soothed."
He cannot deny, either, that he has been happier of late than he can remember having been for some time. Even if he doesn't directly say as much.
"But so too do I love her. It was she who helped me past my sorrow, and had she not I would yet have worn another form when you returned."
"I will not deny you your love for her. I am forever grateful that she saved you from such despair. I simply... do not wish to get in the way."
He just wants Hades to be happy. It's all he's ever wanted. He's loved Emet-Selch for an eternity, but his own feelings don't matter half as much as Hades' do.
"Whatever makes you happy, it will be so. I will make sure of that."
It's the least he can do for leaving him here alone, isn't it?
There's a soft sigh, and then he comes over to sit next to Hythlodaeus, as if the comfort of physical nearness might make the conversation easier. Or perhaps his feelings more readily apparent, given that he knows full well that discussing them might well never be something that comes easily.
"You are not getting in the way. You could never."
Even before he'd realized his feelings for Hythlodaeus, he had yet been his oldest and dearest friend. One of a cherished few, who he'd let come close enough to see the very heart of himself.
"Ever have I been yours. Even before I knew the words to speak it, your loss was the one I felt most keenly, over the long millennia following the sundering of our world and so too was it again here. That you have returned when I had begun to despair of seeing you again has filled me with more joy than I can recall feeling in months."
And though one day it may turn from joy to a quiet contentment, neither will he love Hythlodaeus any less.
"As I am yours, so too am I hers. But I do not love either of you any less for it. If anything I love the both of you more."
He leans against Emet-Selch and listens to him, eventually reaching to take his hand in his own.
"How very like you, to have a heart large enough for two."
He chuckles, then presses a small, fond kiss to Hades' shoulder.
"Is that what would make you happy, then? To have the both of us?"
Hythlodaeus doesn't hate the idea. It's less that he's sharing Hades and more that there are two people to love him the way he deserves. He simply wanted to make sure he wasn't getting in the way first, but Hades has been nothing if not reassuring.
There's a gentle smile, at the kiss Hythlodaeus offers, but it's not until Hythlodaeus asks his question that Hades speaks again.
"Yes."
The answer comes immediately, and without so much as a second thought. As Hythlodaeus has so accurately identified, his heart is indeed big enough for two. And for all that he would be capable of setting aside one of those loves, he is old enough that he feels like he can be allowed this moment of selfishness.
There's a sigh of relief from Hades at the answer, as the last of the tension fades away. True, there is yet one thing he ought to mention, but at least for the moment he would rather savor the relief of knowing that Hythlodaeus has no objections.
"Over all the millennia of my life, yours was ever one of the few faces I could recall in perfect clarity. I do not believe I could ever forget you."
"It was a memory I cherished, for all I yet missed you."
So much so that he'd ended up making a recreation of him, in his echoed Amaurot, and despite actually meaning to. But he speaks nothing of it. Instead he simply takes a quiet moment to enjoy Hythlodaeus' company (and turn his attention to his tea for a moment).
And when he does speak again, it's on a somewhat different topic.
"You saw the bite she left, I think? It was meant as an offer of bonding. As you and I are, now."
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"Oh, truly?"
Pausing to digest this information, he sits back on the bed and chuckles, though there's a distinct lack of humour in it.
"Ah... goodness. My return may have caused more problems than anything, then."
And although Hythlodaeus is not a jealous man, nor does he begrudge Hades the happiness he found in his husband's absence, he does feel a little... strange to know that he's unknowingly been inserted into this situation. No doubt Megumi and Hades were perfectly happy.
"I... apologise." For leaving? For coming back? He isn't really sure.
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"No, you have nothing to apologize for. I have said already that I do not blame you for having left."
How could he have, when he knows that Hythlodaeus had not chosen to leave? Still, there is a brief moment of pause before Hades speaks again. Though acknowledging what had occurred between himself and Megumi had been simple enough, he is still not well-practiced with speaking directly of his emotions, and this is important.
"I love you, with all I am and all I have. I could no more stop than I could halt the sun, and when you left you took with me some of my heart. Some of who I was, to the point I could not stand being as I am now, for grief and loss. That you have returned is a wonder I can scarce believe and a relief I have not the words for; an aching loss finally soothed."
He cannot deny, either, that he has been happier of late than he can remember having been for some time. Even if he doesn't directly say as much.
"But so too do I love her. It was she who helped me past my sorrow, and had she not I would yet have worn another form when you returned."
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He just wants Hades to be happy. It's all he's ever wanted. He's loved Emet-Selch for an eternity, but his own feelings don't matter half as much as Hades' do.
"Whatever makes you happy, it will be so. I will make sure of that."
It's the least he can do for leaving him here alone, isn't it?
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"You are not getting in the way. You could never."
Even before he'd realized his feelings for Hythlodaeus, he had yet been his oldest and dearest friend. One of a cherished few, who he'd let come close enough to see the very heart of himself.
"Ever have I been yours. Even before I knew the words to speak it, your loss was the one I felt most keenly, over the long millennia following the sundering of our world and so too was it again here. That you have returned when I had begun to despair of seeing you again has filled me with more joy than I can recall feeling in months."
And though one day it may turn from joy to a quiet contentment, neither will he love Hythlodaeus any less.
"As I am yours, so too am I hers. But I do not love either of you any less for it. If anything I love the both of you more."
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"How very like you, to have a heart large enough for two."
He chuckles, then presses a small, fond kiss to Hades' shoulder.
"Is that what would make you happy, then? To have the both of us?"
Hythlodaeus doesn't hate the idea. It's less that he's sharing Hades and more that there are two people to love him the way he deserves. He simply wanted to make sure he wasn't getting in the way first, but Hades has been nothing if not reassuring.
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"Yes."
The answer comes immediately, and without so much as a second thought. As Hythlodaeus has so accurately identified, his heart is indeed big enough for two. And for all that he would be capable of setting aside one of those loves, he is old enough that he feels like he can be allowed this moment of selfishness.
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He squeezes his hand, closing his eyes as he rests his head against Emet-Selch's shoulder.
"I certainly won't complain, so long as you do not forget me."
But he doesn't think he would.
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"Over all the millennia of my life, yours was ever one of the few faces I could recall in perfect clarity. I do not believe I could ever forget you."
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If anything could break Hythlodaeus' heart at this point, it's being forgotten or tossed aside by Emet-Selch.
"I'm glad that I remained with you... even if only in memory."
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So much so that he'd ended up making a recreation of him, in his echoed Amaurot, and despite actually meaning to. But he speaks nothing of it. Instead he simply takes a quiet moment to enjoy Hythlodaeus' company (and turn his attention to his tea for a moment).
And when he does speak again, it's on a somewhat different topic.
"You saw the bite she left, I think? It was meant as an offer of bonding. As you and I are, now."
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Now he feels a little silly to have missed the significance of it.
"But if it makes you happy, then all the better."
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There's a shrug with the words, faintly apologetic despite the fact that the words are the honest truth.
"But it does, and would. Though I shall have to find the time to speak of it to her."